Soundtrack: Road Trip

Songs for that last feeling of freedom; to roll down the windows of the car, sing out and stretch your arms out in a cinematic way. This soundtrack is dedicated to the midnight visits to the beach, the endless pages of  maps and this Jack Kerouac quote as your motto;  'Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.'  

1  Keep the Car Running- Arcade Fire
2  Back of a Car- Big Star
3  Tonight we Fly- Divine Comedy
4  High Times- Landan Pigg feat. Turbo Fruits
5  Pumped up Kicks- Foster the People
6  California- Phantom Planet
7  Your Arms around me- Jens Lekman
8   Road- Nick Drake
9   California Daze-Peace
10  Close to me- The Cure
11  What a Pleasure- Beach Fossils
12  Here comes your  Man- The Pixies

13  Summer mood- Best Coast
14  Rescue Song (RAC Remix)- Mr Little jeans
15  Travelling-Tennis
16   Under the Stars- Morning Parade
17   You're so Cool- History of Apple Pie
18    Forever-Haim
19  She's got you high- Mumm-ra

Never let go

“She quietly expected great things to happen to her, and no doubt that’s one of the reasons why they did.” - Zelda Fitzgerald

I have always known that I have wanted to write, it was a tiny spark of reading that grew; then i picked up a pen. It's not enough to just let it lie dormant but writing is something I use to explore the uncharted emotions that I cannot articulate out loud. I've realised that  writing can outline the small places in your heart that you didn't even knew existed, it has also made me see how this is what I want to continue to do. Doubt always creeps through and it always seems to be the most all-consuming emotion and it always feels like I should just give up, that it's not worth it but; it's always worth it. It will always feel better  when you fight for your voice to be heard (as cheesy as that sounds) So here is a small guide for when that little voice tells you that it's never going to happen;                                  

 1  There is no such thing as a right decision- The right decision in hindsight is a myth, obviously decisions have clear cut; good and bad consequences but there is never a well worn path to success and in that moment...you can only consider what's best for yourself  at that time. 

2 Mistakes can be the right way forward- Just because things didn't work out the way you envisioned, does not mean that it can't lead to something greater. Success shouldn't be defined in a generic, small minded way- that it's the achievement of popularity or money. To me, Success is defined by doing something you love and if that doesn't grow straight away, it's not failure but  it just didn't happen the first time.  

3 So many people have taken the path less traveled to Success- Mindy Kaling; She started off as a production assistant on the 'Crossing Over with John Edward psychic show' and just worked on her art by writing the play; 'Matt and Ben' and getting her first big break in The Office and she is now producing and writing the fabulous 'Mindy Project.'  
Miranda July; She dropped out of college at 16, but kept making Art and found her way into books, films and independent Art. Then she made her charming directorial debut with 'Me, You and everyone we Know' in 2005- winning the Camera d'Or.                          
Tina Fey; She worked in a number of improv groups including: The Second City in 1997 then submitted a few scripts to Saturday Night Live who then hired her as a writer. Fey originally struggled at SNL and she later went on to be SNL's  first female head writer and created and wrote 30 Rock and Mean Girls; both iconic and wonderful.  
    
4 Don't believe that these stories are for the selected few- Sometimes it feels like it's only a small amount of  people that make through but never believe that this is true; I truly believe that if you are passionate about your art and continue to do what you love- it will feel like you have found success already. Even if it's not what people perceive as living successfully; you have to believe that your story is one that will be heard and never let go of that.      

 

10 Reasons Amy Heckerling should direct my life

Director Amy Heckerling (and total Betty) is the wonderful and underrated creator of 'Clueless' and 'Fast times at Ridgemount High'.                                              If John Hughes is the quintessential teen movie director then she is the Godmother of Generation teen 'whatever'. The universe of her films are so intricately created, it captures the spirit of characters making them iconic and truly loved.                                                She never overlooked the complexity of  High school and always explored the drama in a nuanced and hilarious tone which is captured in this quote;     'I love movies where something very dramatic is going on, but I can't stand movies that are humorless.'  She is such an inspiration to me and these are the films that my friends and I often gawp and watch at an unhealthy rate. These are the reasons that Amy Heckerling should direct my life:    

1 Clever insults would be a normal part of conversation and would be so effortless.

2 Total Baldwins are part of every day life. These guys are no Monets even if they turn out to be a cake boy  /disco dancing /Oscar Wilde reading friend of Dorothy or a total wuss. Also, the beauty that is Paul Rudd is featured and his cute presence in my life would be very much appreciated.

3 The Dancing would be crazy but there is nothing better than goofing out with your friends even if you look nutty doing it. 

4 Life would be like a Noxzema commercial.

5 I would know how to reference pop culture in a subtle and flawless way; which is way existential.  

6 I would look a total Betty in coordinated outfits; it's just like when you were little but now it's in tartan.      *Work uniform would actually look rather cute.

7 Witty repertoire.

8 Friendships would be built on a mutual love of jealousy, drugs and a love of insulting each other- beautifully simple. *Young Nicolas Cage!!

9  The teachers would be the absolute best; even if they think everyone is on dope.

10 Parties even if they are in the Valley would be totally classic.

I feel it all

Sensitivity; A person's feelings which might be easily hurt or touched. It has always been a defining nature within me, this is in equal measure-a blessing and a downfall. My experiences have shaped the way I feel, into someone that can bruise easily; one small word can send my mind into a free falling frenzy.                                     It's the kind of feeling where every tiny remark is analysed until the point where my heart is a hindrance to any truth of what the person originally intended. All of this is known as an affliction of weakness in the eyes of a lot of people; but for myself, I feel it is a component in my identity which is still being formed; a part that slowly I am beginning to love and a tender strength that allows me to be open.   

As Max Andrew Dubinsky says: " My condition isn't for the meek or the weak of stomach. I've loved and lost and lost again, more times than any man should. It's hard to find someone when you can't keep your cards close to your chest. What's the point of keeping anything close to your chest when the very thing you're trying to conceal is exposed and dirty and bruised for all to see?."  (from the short story 'The boy with his heart on his sleeve and the girl who tried to fix him.')                                                                                    

 It's easy to be closed off and keep your emotions inward but it takes strength to feel it all, to embrace the pitfalls that come with the courage of being true to your feelings and not just the inward but the outer acceptance of this of showing how you truly feel. 
I may be an open book, but I earnestly aim to make the pages I show reflect the tender self that I am. 
                              

Soundtrack: Before Summer Ends

Songs for when September is looming and the days of taking road trips, marathon-watching Wes Anderson films,cycling in the evenings and endless bucket lists are drawing to a close. This soundtrack is dedicated to the midnight dancing, the new friendships that have been formed and the old ones that have been renewed.    

1   King of the Beach-Wavves
2   The Only Place- Best Coast 
3   Marathon-Tennis  
4   Why do fools fall in Love-The Beach Boys 
5    Friday I'm in love- The Cure 
6    All my friends- LCD Soundsystem
7    Blister in the Sun-Violet Femmes
8    Well you better-Yo La Tengo 
9    Watch over Me-Teen Daze                            
10   When I Still have Thee-Teenage Fanclub  
11   Reflections on Youth- Sonny and the Sunsets  
12    We got the Beat-The Go-Go's
13    Getaway-Jonquil 
14    Fever-Maps and Atlases 
15   With a Girl like You-The Troggs
16    Magic-Girls 
17    Take a Walk-Passion Pit 
18     I get Ideas - M. Ward
19     White Nights- Oh Land
20     In the Sun- She and Him 
21     Alive- Empire of the Sun 


                                                                              
                                                                                 

Writer Crush: Lena Dunham

"I think if you feel like you were born to write, then you probably were." 

I wish Lena Dunham was someone I knew, so I could just listen to her witty ramblings all day and just gawp at her loveliness.                                   But, instead I can be content in the knowledge that she has created some of the most beautifully written and flawed characters that seem so relatable; it's like Dunham has been listening in to my midnight conversations with my best friend about all of our mishaps and hopes. She is my writer crush and this is my attempt to articulate how wonderful and inspirational she is.

Brave. Just one of the ways to describe the raw energy of her writing, that exposes the inner insecurities that every young person, trying to find themselves, goes through. It's this energy that so many critics have spoken out against but this is what writing is, to write about the ugly and the painfully embarrassing; creating something that is brutally honest but also a poignant piece of writing that tells the collective stories of so many people being a-young-grown-up.
 A big and unavoidable aspect of Dunham's writing is feminism, she has herself identified as being a feminist and her writing is to me- an iconic example of modern feminism. She not only writes about the lives of women but she illustrates an un-airbrushed approach to the depiction of women in Gossip Girl era,     Dunham's use of nudity has been criticized and it baffles me that the visceral reaction to her naked body (in GIRLS) is one of disgust. The notion that people are enraged only outlines the damage that the media has caused with unrealistic views of women's bodies and this is why Dunham has become a feminist icon (well, to me); her ability to be laid bare in the physical and emotional.            

Let's talk about GIRLS, it's finally a show that is truly about women and their friendships that are not vapid or cliche but a show of value that explores the familiarity of growing into the person you will be and the self doubt that quickly follows. The character's; Hannah (Played by Dunham), Marnie, Shoshonna and Jessa who are all (hilariously) discovering the trials of being financially independent, sexual adventure and the finding of themselves. Through this, she has created characters that are not varnished over to create comfortable stereotypes like many other shows that are cliche ridden in defining who these characters are but Dunham illustrates that they can be funny and intricately developed in their own story lines. The familiarity of the many quotable Hannah-erisms; 'I have work and then I have dinner plans. Then I am busy, trying to become who I am.' Just shows how Dunham has created a character that delves into the outright ridiculousness that we sometimes feel.         

Tiny Furniture (2010) was her first feature and revolves around Aura as a recent college graduate trying to find her place in the world, arriving back home to her mother and sister (her real life relatives). Words cannot describe how much I adore this film, it marks my first discovery of Dunham and her endearing mumblecore style that delves into a fragile world which Dunham delicately uncompromising  performance of a character who is unfinished and seeking to define herself. As you watch Aura reconnect with childhood friend; Charlotte (Jemima Kirke) and meander through the existence of a life not yet started-the solitude and self awareness that is scattered within all of Dunham's writing.             

So here's to you Lena and your boundary breaking writing and Wednesday night dancing.