My love affair with social paralysis

The fact is that I am still growing into the person that I shall become and I feel that this involves growing out of the expectations that I have of people, including even myself and how we invest ourselves in each other. 

I'm learning that these experiences can have negative and wonderful effects on who I am, which in turn develops my social paralysis further because I have an ideal of how people should treat each other and slowly for better or for worse-I have learnt that it can never be perfect. So, this post is dedicated to the stuttering, mumbling messes of social interaction who are not the cutesy awkward Zooey Deschanel type but an odd jumble of long silences and interrupter of deep conversations.    You are my people. 

I could write a dissertation on the amount of terribly debilitating social paralysis that has occurred within my lifetime which has caused people to literally physically dance/ jazz hand their way out of a conversation- all whilst looking at me like I have a Lady Gaga style shrimp hat on my head. But, this exercise in self deprecation  although humorous, would probably just open a Pandora's box of awkwardness that would make David Brent look like a pageant Queen of conversation. Instead, I thought I would write about how I grew to love (still in process) my horrible conversation starters-'So, How's it hanging? ' and my incessant ranting with nearly complete strangers.                                                                                                                                       Well, where to start, I think it's just embracing the notion that as cliche ridden as it sounds no one is you and this means that every socially awkward bone in you has your trademark. Embrace yourself, especially the 'flaws' that people seem to dislike so much because these flaws will fade and sometimes will grow into something that is beautiful and rare.
 People are just as manically awkward as you are- they just hide it in a more impressive fashion. An important factor in embracing your blundering self is knowing that everyone around you has these gawky ticks- by knowing this, I feel that the daunting task of introducing yourself at a house party becomes a level footing-even if it feels like you are a fish out of water.
On a practical note, if you are gripped by silence when you meet with a new acquaintance and it feels like an eternity before you can say something, this ones for you. Don't twiddle your thumbs and wait for the other person to say something- chances are they are probably thinking the same thing, just...GO FOR IT. It's a simple solution that often I push to the back of my mind because it's feels like a nose dive into social Siberia if you make the first move for conversation. But, in all honesty when you handle a conversation, even if it falls flat into an inferno of deliberate coughing to mask silence it will feel like a victory. These small achievements are fleeting but to an introvert like myself they are in all honesty the all singing, all dancing style finale of Mamma Mia feel good moment of that party/lecture/life in general even if it ends with a shuffling away.
Soundtracks are also important, music is a beautiful remedy for violently nervous nodding and heart pounding muteness.
This playlist is for your powerwalk into what feels like a trap, the songs for when you feel like you have no voice at all and the late night walks after a house party where you were the life and soul of the party.

  1  Power-Kanye West                                                                2  One way or another- Blondie                                          3  Go your own way- Fleetwood Mac                            4  Freakum dress-Beyonce                                                     5  I'm the best- Nicki Minaj                                                     6  Werkin' Girls-Angel Haze                                                   7  Let's Dance-David Bowie                                                    8  Hit me with your best shot-Pat Benatar                    9  Infinity Guitars-Sleigh Bells                                          10  Cherrybomb-The Runaways                                           11  Take me as I am-Au Revoir Simone 

'Be yourself. The world worships the original'. - Ingrid Bergman

A guide on how to be a lovely house mate

I've just started my second year at University and it's always a nervous and vulnerable time. In the most  intrinsic of terms you live with folk that you have known for a little less than a year and within the upcoming months they will see sides of you that normally would be swiftly hidden away, the very greatest of your ugly crying and snorting laughter. It's terrifying but also the kind of insane frightened energy that is all at once one of the most; beautiful, uplifting, freeing and wonderful feelings ever. I truly feel like these are not just people that I live with but my family, a sense of home when I'm away from everything that is seemingly commonplace to me.                                                                                                                                                      This quote perfectly illustrates the essence of my new home; 'Be grateful for the home you have, knowing that at this moment, all you have is all you need.'- Sarah Ban Breathnach 
 So, I thought that I would write a post detailing the ways that you can be a fabulous housemate and avoid the tiny, petty arguments over the rightful owner of the last piece of brownie...

1 Never underestimate the power of a baked good, cake is like currency in housemate terms.

2 Lend money and never expect to be paid back- that taxi fare just isn't seeing you ever. 











3 Never stay in the bathroom for an extended period of time a.) It's frustrating for the other housemates,     b.) The pee dance gets old very quickly and c.) People will start to wonder what you are actually doing in there. 

4 Never be the housemate that clocks alcohol intake-You're not the local GP.

5 Real talk after a night out is always needed and helpful. 

 





















6 Know when they need their space, it's normally when John Mayer is on and fraught Skype calls are being made.  

7 But sometimes, you do just need to snuggle it out. 

8 Quite simply, just clean up after yourselves, otherwise this is the reaction you will receive towards your germ ridden plate. 









9 Crazy dancing is always a fail proof way to feel better/vent that frustration and goof around like housemates should.

10 PARTY ON 

Soundtrack: Back to School

September is such an odd month, it's a time for frenzied searches for pens and the despondent feeling you have when you see that your alarm has gone from non-existent to 6am. This soundtrack is dedicated to the power walk down the corridor, the not so subtle glances at a newly found crush and early morning starts that make you feel like a zombie.

1  Alone-Trampled by Turtles
2  Fly-Nick Drake
3  Cadillac- T.Rex
4  She's a Mover-Big Star
5  How are you? - Cheap Trick
6  I know I'm not wrong- Fleetwood Mac
7  Another Sunny Day- Belle and Sebastian
8  Spend the Night- Abby Bernstein
9  Posters-Youth Lagoon
10  Super Rick kids- Frank Ocean ft Earl Sweatshirt
11  Summer...It's Gone- Grandaddy
12  Jelly Bird- Laurel Collective
13  Wake up Shake up-Blair
14  Days-Television
15  Cheerleader-Grizzly Bear
16  Infinity Guitars- Sleigh Bells
17  Bad reputation- Joan Jett and The Blackhearts
18  On the next One-Jay Z ft Swizz Beatz
19  Million Dollar Bills-Lorde
20  We're the Kids- Parade of Lights
24  You make my dreams come true- Hall and Oates

10 reasons Wes Anderson should direct my life

'That's the kind of movie that I like to make, where there is an invented reality and the audience is going to go someplace where hopefully they have never been before. The details, that's what the world is made of '.- Wes Anderson  

Wes Anderson is a director who truly inspires me to embrace all of  the oddness and quirkiness of myself, his characters have a spirit who define this not as an abnormality but a trait to be celebrated and explored. They exist in their own world, one that is ethereal and original which creates a unique film- a candid exploration of life in all it's peculiarity.                                                               The visual is a focal element of the Anderson universe but this never eclipses the spirited and ardent emotional facets of the story, this is why he is so influential and one of  my most cherished directors. These are the reasons Wes Anderson should direct my life:


1 Everything would be beautiful and filtered in a colour scheme dependent on the juncture in my life.

2 Cute animals would be a fixture of life and would often result in comical deaths.

3 Being strange and different is celebrated and above all embraced. 

4 My fashion would be vintage, cause jealous double takes and be copied for Elle spreads.

5 Dramatic music will score the most triumphant and saddening times of my life.

6 Being moody is seen as a natural state and an emotion that doesn't need to be 'fixed' .

7 Going on adventures is chaotic and beautiful.

8 The dancing is never choreographed and so comedy dancing becomes the only way.

9 Families are painted in a true to form dysfunctional mess.

10 Romantic entanglements are fittingly awkward and adorable.

She's just being Miley: In defense of Miley Cyrus

Miley Cyrus' VMA performance caused what can only be described as a storm of uneducated slurs and slut shaming. While I agree that her performance was outrageous and controversial, this is hardly anything original. There has been a history of 'scandalous' performances over the years thanks to the lackluster sense of control from  MTV bosses. In 2001 Britney Spears danced with a snake in a bikini and then in 2003 Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera had a three way girl kiss.
So what I can't understand is that everyone is acting like this is a completely new and horrifying kind of performance; that women will objectify themselves to look edgy and mature. History clearly shows us that this is nothing new. It seems there has been a cycle of acceptance in terms of  a male songwriters and the music industry objectifying women; well that's perfectly normal!.                                                                                                            A key example of this is 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke; a seriously brash song that doesn't even attempt to hide the rape references that has become the 'Song of the Summer.' To call the song 'problematic' would be an understatement with lyrics including 'I'll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two', 'But you're an animal, baby it's in your nature, Just let me liberate you' and my favourite; 'You the hottest bitch in this place' - Oh, just pure Shakespearean poetry!. There was hardly any outrage to this song and it quickly became No.1 everywhere- so apparently objectification and misogyny is fine as long as it's a hit song. In the logical and intelligent words of  Thicke himself- 'what a pleasure it is to degrade women' and later back peddling saying the song is a- 'feminist movement.'-Where are the pitchforks and degrading internet slut labelling for Thicke?
            Thicke played a part in Cyrus' performance and he was ultimately ignored in the outrage which spiralled into a ridiculous notion that Cyrus was doing it as a 'cry for help-' which just leads me to believe that we haven't even progressed from the 50's notion that women who express sexual desire are mentally unstable (seen in Freud's theory). I truly feel that a woman should not be restricted to a polarity of a whore or a prude, there shouldn't be a scale which people just love to enforce to female musicians.  






     

Writer Crush(es): Brit Marling and Zal Batmanglij

"A whole film is just about arriving at a moment where you hopefully transfer some feelings to the audience." - Brit Marling
 
Marling and Batmanglij are writers of a unrelenting and intricate variety, who have a vividly unique vision for each of the existences their characters inhibit. The indie darlings rose to prominence in 2011 with 'Sound of my Voice' which was selected to close the SXSW Film Festival and opened to critical success. Then Marling and Mike Cahill co-wrote the beautiful and understated; 'Another Earth' which took the Sundance Film Festival by storm.
 They have in every sense become the penchant for up and coming filmmakers which with the release of  'The East' will undoubtedly propel the duo into the mainstream and hopefully into the arms of a new unsuspecting audience.  
They are my writer's crush and this is my unashamed love of the writers that are the voices of an unheard collective- the cults, the outcasts and the alienated.  

Let's talk about Another Earth, it's a wondrously elegant and tentative exploration of identity and what it means to confront and extricate the experiences that have made you who you are.
The protagonist (played exquisitely by Brit Marling) is a strong and mesmerizing character who despite the surrounding change of the discovery of Earth 2, is within her own conflicts of second chances and forgiveness.
This is what encapsulates the velocity of the
 drama not one of an other-worldly existence but of human emotions which makes it an even more immersive experience.

The Sound of my voice is as mystifying as it is eye opening. It revolves around a couple Peter (Christopher Denham) and Lorna (Nicole Vicius) who infiltrate a cult intent on exposing the leader Maggie (Brit Marling) as a fraud but as they begin to delve deeper into the group, they begin to question the truth and themselves.                                                                    It's a beautifully unnerving drama as Peter and Lorna begin to unravel into a perplexed state, as do the audiences perception of what is the true reality and the fantasy of the enigmatic cult leader. It is a beautifully crafted film that has a  nerve-racking and raw energy which twists at every turn creating a truly gripping mystery.

 
With all of the wonderful films they have made and have yet to make, it's easy to see how the powerhouse duo are sure to create some truly iconic films.